Improvements, creations, wait listed, creatively speaking, quilts, quilting, quilted

Good day,
I mean it really, this has been a good day, and it is just noon.  Improvements, I can concentrate.  Probably does not sound like a big deal but it is. In order to create my art quilts I need to concentrate. Taking some of the repairing, relaxing, releasing, medications does away with the ability to concentrate. Downsizing on those same meds means more areas of the brain available to concentrate.

I can read, write, paint, watch tv and remember the story line. Are you laughing, ok it is funny on one hand, on the other it is amazing.  I am trying to remember all the things I did before I was prescribed medication to deal with my injuries.  Oh that's right I can check my journals again.  Now that I can concentrate I can get those books and use the patterns and drafts to continue my mental journey.

I have been gardening. Well not weeding as per the therapist, but the flowers have been gracious and have grown anyway.

creations: I have two pieces of fabric that I painted using the top and bottom of plastic cups, jars, and the back end of a paint brush.  Wonder of wonders I got depth perception going on. I have also used my shiva sticks to enhance a few of the women quilt tops and have started to pick up my studio.

Wait listed: well that would be sewing.  I can hand sew but the hand eye coordination needed to sit at the sewing machine, the time sitting and breaking so I do not hurt is still being experimented with.  I'll get there.

Creatively speaking I have the same 30-40 pieces in different stages of completion.  I picked out five and will concentrate, now that I have mastered that again, and finish before the end of the month.  That is tops, to pin, baste, back and quilt is a whole nother post.  :)

Reflections

Last year this time I was less than a week out of the rehab hospital.  I wondered if I was going to be able to take the next breath, the next lifting of my head, the next swallow of medication, the next trip to the bathroom, and the next drink of water, would I be able to swallow enough of it.

I wondered if I could accept the pills and the patches without crying, if I could look at all the faces around my bed and not reflect back the sadness and worry I saw there, if I could not cry at all because the back up of fluid in my mouth and nose was choaking me.

I started to water the plant in my bathroom.  And it began to open and to bloom.  It caused a crack in the way I was thinking.  Just a bit of water and sunlight and look what happened.

I wondered if I would remember things again, so much forgotten, so much lost, so much gone, simply gone. Would it come back, would I be able again.  Just able, not able to do any particular thing but just simply able. I thought for long periods between medicating applications and could remember none of it when next I was given medicines.

I wondered if there would come a time when I could just be.  Just not hurt. Just not cry. Just not ache everywhere, differently than before I went to the hospital in the first place. Just wondered if this was all there was ever going to be.  And then I would have a moment or two of clarity.  And the pain and misery of my situation and condition would press so tightly against my heart and my mind that I would cry backwards, I would muffle the tears as best I could but it never helped. I heard so many times, it is going to be ok sweetheart.

I did not believe it for months but I repeated it like a montra.  Perhaps everyone but me could see something when looking at me that I was completely missing.  I never gave up but I had nothing left to give either.

The cards and notes and small gifts of friends is what ultimately bought me around.  As they reached in with these small wonders I began to reach out and to look forward to receiving them.  It is hard to explain how much these cards and palm size gifts meant to me.  They were small enough to fit into the size my world had become.  They gave me hope, and let me know that dear ones outside of my room cared for me.  I needed to get better and try harder so that I could thank them.

And I did.  There were miles and stories between this year at this time and last year at that time but suffice it to say Thank You dear friends and love ones.  You pulled me through.  I made it. I will continue.  I have placed your offerings in a special place in my heart and in my room.  They make me smile and think and I know that I am loved.

How will I translate this into a quilt.  It is a must as I will want to add it to my storytelling.

Warmest regards,
Ms. V

Here are shots of Damion working.

I love so many of these shots.  Great job Damion.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Damion-Poitier/79925134454#

You wait years to see the proof of your work

Wait to see the proof of the putting

Years go by and you hope something you do will be worthy

To finally see your work is almost spell binding

See how dedication and committment pan out

The true measure of a man's work is the process and documentation

Proof is always available when you are engaged in the process

Of all the days in my life I choose this one to take a measure of where I am and when

Your task is to keep on plowing the field, sowing the seed, and reaping the rewards

Work is only one of the many facets of life, do not forget all the others.

Ms. V

Damion Poitier New reels

"http://www.facebook.com/pages/Damion-Poitier/79925134454#"

In Loving Memory

There are days when the incoming news takes your breath away for a moment.
Days when you wish you could rewind.
Days when you wish other choices had been made.
And days when you know our higher power has invoked his, her, their will.
Sending out love and blessings respectful of how you pray, communicate, acknowledge, or not, asking for:  Peace to those who need it.
A Time to heal for those who are in the tunnel and not aware that there is a process before you come to the end or the opening, or the beginning of the next phase.
Love, warmth, hugs, tears, screams, sighs, back rubs and pats, watery smiles, and tearful kisses.
Moans and clarity, anger and surrender, confusion and giving up, Love when you need it most, silence and remembrance.

Above all peace and understanding.

In memorial we stand hands held, hips and shoulders pressed together to keep each other lifted up.
One more missing from my eyesight forever.
No answer why, no satisfaction in the silent moments spent alone, no sound of that beloved voice in my ear, smiling into my face, hugging my body with such a strong hug and such a loving goodbye.
Separation only for a moment of God's time.
 Beloved son, dearly loved cousin, there are not enough words to tell you how much you are missed right this moment.
If it be so, if it is possible, if all that we have been taught is true, you are with our other beloved family members and friends.

In God is our trust.

I love you and will keep the memory of you alive all my days, in my stories, questions, art works, and heart.
Cousin V

Memory, Love, Cousins, Forced Separation

There are days when the incoming news takes your breath away for a moment.
Days when you wish you could rewind.
Days when you wish other choices had been made.
And days when you know our higher power has invoked his, her, their will.
Sending out love and blessings respectful of how you pray, communicate, acknowledge, or not, asking for:  Peace to those who need it.
A Time to heal for those who are in the tunnel and not aware that there is a process before you come to the end or the opening, or the beginning of the next phase.
Love, warmth, hugs, tears, screams, sighs, back rubs and pats, watery smiles, and tearful kisses.
Moans and clarity, anger and surrender, confusion and giving up, Love when you need it most, silence and remembrance.
Above all peace and understanding.
In memorial we stand hands held, hips and shoulders pressed together to keep each other lifted up.
One more missing from my eyesight forever.
No answer why, no satisfaction in the silent moments spent alone, no sound of that beloved voice in my ear, smiling into my face, hugging my body with such a strong hug and such a loving goodbye.
Separation only for a moment of God's time.
 Beloved son, dearly loved cousin, there are not enough words to tell you how much you are missed right this moment.
If it be so, if it is possible, if all that we have been taught is true, you are with our other beloved family members and friends.
I love you and will keep the memory of you alive all my days, in my stories, questions, art works, and heart.
Cousin Val

When is taking medicine just too much? or When I finally get to Quilt

Today was the first day in seven when I was able to get up and around, even outside for a bit. I have to wonder if the meds are going to keep me stymied for another year or if my prayers for a solution to the 'very' thing that has caused this 'state of being' to be resolved will be answered, in the near future. So today I gathered the last of my postcard pieces and should be able to get the MLK cards out tomorrow. That is if I can stay up all day working. It is not an arduous task to complete the final steps rather staying up is the arduous portion of the project. Some days I am able to dream of project after project...and that is a far cry from last year at this very moment. Is it asking too much for a complete recovery with no medications necessary in order to function. Absolutely not. I feel like my Amaryllis. This is the second blooming. The first was at work when the light was poor and watering it was done a bit too much, we were just getting to know each other. I feel like that is where I am with my meds. I am using less and less and trying to find just the right amount is becoming quite a chore. If I use too much I stare at the ceiling and get little done. If I use too little I hurt all day and yet my thinking is clearer and I can imagine project after project. I am finding the middle a little better everyday. This amaryllis is in it's third blooming process for me. The first was in the winter, the second was also. But right now it is in my yard and the leaves are spread fifteen inches or more from the center...four strong leaves drinking in just the right amount of water and sunshine, breeze and shade. I watch that plant and I believe it is giving me the road to follow. Look at the fullness once the first of four bloom sprung! They are so strong and bright. Each area doing it part. Each stem strong and fit. I found just the right balance of dirt, warmth, nourishment, water, and light last winter, I will find it this fall for myself. Thank you Amaryllis for showing me the way. I do believe this plant deserves it's own quilt

Regards,

Ms. V